According to a new study, people who are concerned about others have higher well-being—but only if they respect their own needs.

How much should we help others? In our close relationships, is it better to care for others or to put our own needs first? You may have faced this dilemma yourself if your partner ever asked you to help with the dishes after a long workday, for example, or a friend asked you for an early morning airport ride.

According to a recent study, people who are motivated to care for others tend to fare well—but it is also important for us to not neglect self-care and our own needs.

In this study, published in Psychological Bulletin, the researchers explored communal motivation. People who are higher in communal motivation tend to be especially concerned about other people, and this concern motivates them to care for others. They tend to help others without keeping track of what each person “owes” the other (for example, think of the caregiving that a parent provides to a child).

The researchers conducted a meta-analysis—a study that aggregates the results of other research—of 100 studies (including some previously unpublished data) with a total of over 26,000 participants, mainly from Europe and North America. These studies had used questionnaires to measure participants’ and their partners’ well-being (their satisfaction with life and positive and negative emotions), their satisfaction and emotions in their relationships, and three types of communal motivation:

General communal motivation: Their overall level of concern for the well-being of other people (including people they are close to, as well as more casual acquaintances and even strangers).
Partner-specific communal motivation: Their willingness to care for and support a specific relationship partner (such as a romantic partner, friend, or family member).
Unmitigated communal motivation: Their willingness to support others selflessly, even at the expense of their own needs.
The researchers found that participants higher in general communal motivation, as well as partner-specific communal motivation, reported higher levels of well-being—and so did their relationship partners. Additionally, both they and their partners were happier in their relationships compared to people lower in those traits. To read more from ELIZABETH HOPPER, click here.