If we want to succeed in the self-expressive marriage, we’ll have to grapple with a paradox: Just as our expectations of our spouses are increasing, we’re also spending less time with them, and less time with other social connections who could help meet our needs. Finkel offers three strategies that can make the difference between marital crisis and marital flourishing.

If your relationship needs a booster shot but you don’t have much time or energy to devote to it at the moment, “lovehacking” may be the way to go.

Lovehacks are quick, simple practices that change the way you think about your partner. Like other forms of hacking, they won’t fix deep, underlying problems—but they are a helpful patch to tide you over into the future. To read more from KIRA M. NEWMAN, click here.